Meeting each other & also the family…
27th April 2003, Sunday
In the traditional Brahmin communities, we have the custom of first exchanging boy and girl horoscopes to ascertain how they match. Once it meets certain defined criteria, as a next step the parents exchange photographs. Then they also inquire about the family’s background and if everything seems fine, they arrange a rendezvous at the girl’s place. The boy’s family (Parents, some of the closest relatives) goes to the girl’s house at a pre-specified time to see the girl. The boy’s family is welcomed with coffee, sweets, and savories. The girl is supposedly adorned in a silk sari and jewels and presents herself in front of the family members. If you like (I guess it is mutual), you can ask to meet the girl privately in a room to discuss or share anything you might have.
All this happened in our family (to us as well).
I saw her and wanted to speak to her in private. We went into a room, and I sat in the bed that was put up over there. Vidya stood in a corner. I asked her to sit beside but she politely declined. And then she started saying, in English, that she cannot speak Tamil properly, does not know how to cook, this that et al. She asked me a few questions about why I quit my job in favor of CTS from Carborundum and compromised on my designation. And then we bid goodbye and went back home. My folks liked her and her family. I was in a quandary and could not decide. But there was one thing that I liked very much about her and that was she was candid about who and what she is as a person.
After some deliberation, everyone felt that we would make a great pair and would have a wonderful life together. My dad then called up her sister’s place and informed them that we liked her. Their response was muted, and they said that they needed some more time. I was livid with that reply and said that I would not take that. Whenever the call came, I asked my folks to inform them that I would not want to take it further. As it happened, her dad called up to say that they were okay with the proposal, but my mom conveyed the message that my son was not agreeing wondering if the delay was to force the girl to marry me.
Our parents asked us to speak directly to clarify any doubts each of us may have harbored in our minds. I asked her straight on; if she concurred because she liked me or was thrust upon her. She convinced me that the decision was hers. Matchmaking was finalized to the relief and happiness of all elders.
Mumbai Margarita…and Chennai Chinnarasu decided on that day to walk hand in hand together for the rest of their lives. I should say it was a defining moment in my life and I certainly owe it to my mom.
Beautiful Life 