It is amazing to see how much Anirud has grown up over the years. It takes a great deal of effort and acceptance to appreciate others and do something for them. In my younger days, we used to make hand made greeting cards with designs, drawings and wishes. These days, it has gone digital. One may argue that the physical labor is much more intense and emotionally binding as compared to the digital wave that’s consuming all of us…I would disagree. We need to adapt to the changing circumstances and conditions. It is the intent that matters and to do something innovatively using your ideas is much more difficult. Therefore, it is not fair to compare the past and the present. Rather, we need to appreciate the fact that kids value relationships and their willingness to appreciate others wholeheartedly. In today’s single child world, mostly, to give in to others is a great gift indeed.
For the last couple of days or so, Anirud was working on something to wish me for my birthday. Until last year, he was drawing and writing something and this year he has gone digital. Perhaps, the embrace is much more faster due to the online classes and usage of computer and gadgets. He wanted to wish me happy birthday exactly at 12 midnight like what we did for him on his birthday. Last evening, he mentioned that let’s watch a family movie together so that I can stay awake to wish you happy birthday as the clock struck 12. Vidya and I knew that he would definitely fall asleep as he is usually goes to bed by 10. He gets up by 5.30 to 6 AM in the morning these days for his studies etc. And there is no afternoon nap either. In the evening he goes out to play and we know for sure that his battery pack will be completely wound down by 10 to 11 PM.
His mother kept insisting him to go to sleep and that he can wish me early in the morning. However, since he was insistent, I did not want to disappoint him. I picked out an old movie of Nicholas Cage – Next. My better half is not much into English movies especially if these are action or thriller oriented. So she went to sleep. He watched for sometime and then automatically fell asleep on my shoulders. I ended up watching the full movie all alone and woke my wife first who wished me happy birthday. Then I woke him up and guided him to his room. He was so asleep that he forgot to wish me and straight went to bed.
I noticed that the laptop was on. When I opened it up, I saw this beautiful timeline wish he created for me and was so touched by his lovely thought. Unfortunately, I tried to download this and I could not do it as it was a free version. I ended up saving it within the version itself since I did not want to lose it. Somehow, I felt that he might have an idea of how to save it. Fortunately, he did by clicking Control Print option and saving it as a PDF version. Innovative kids indeed. Credit goes to his friend Siddharth who gave him the idea to do something like this. I really liked the fact that kids work in a collaborative manner at this age itself. It will help them grow into mature and open minded adults in the years to come.
What was so touching about the whole aspect was that he really felt that there was a huge difference between the two parts of his life. The first half of 6 years in Kuwait and the second half in India. Though he does not remember much he gets to see the thousands of photos I have clicked at every stage. This gives him an idea of how his life was in the early stages vs the latter stages as mentioned above. Invariably, school and education becomes a major focus in the later part of the years. In the initial 6 years all you get to complete is your LKG and UKG….basically kindergarten schooling. Given that those were fun filled days, mostly, with lots of happy moments of outings, travels and gatherings, he feels life was much better during those times. And the fact that I would carry him in my arms. His wish it to go back and relive his childhood and never grow up at all. Don’t we all wish that….
Once we moved back to India, as you know, life becomes hectic for everyone. The child goes through a full day schooling and then education with some time for playing and other activities. Wifey gets busy managing the house and us (me, sonny and Dad). I got busy in my work schedule. Therefore, the time spent together as a family was reduced. In brief, everyone had their own lives in time. There was not much time for the other or as a group. Either way, it is the way life would go with the passage of time or it is something different, I am not sure.
Anyways, it is the way it is and he has missed the Dad element as part of this process. His Mom’s attention also changed towards education and how he is doing in studies. In addition she also wanted him to participating in extra curricular activities. Therefore, it resulted in a lot of tension between Mom and Son. Maybe, I should have taken more efforts in reaching out or cuddling him. Make him speak about his aspirations and dreams. I do all this motivational stuff quite well at office. But when it comes to home, both of them feel that here comes the preacher. When and how we can run from this guy. They might even wonder how is this guy even tolerated in office. The issue with me is that I am not an expressive person when it comes to words and actions, in real life. It comes in spurts and that too in my worst moods. Especially, when I am angry or frustrated. I end up saying anything and everything without realizing how it can mortally affect the other person. Even if that person is a child. I don’t realize at that point in time that whatever I say negatively can prove to be traumatic to that child and can register for a lifetime.
As my wife says, the issue with you is that you say all kinds of crap and conveniently forget what you said. Sometimes you apologize and many times you don’t. Or maybe, the truth is I don’t ever accept that I made a mistake at all in the first place. I am sure that’s what frustrates her most when I don’t even acknowledge that I caused a havoc in the first place. Well, I certainly cannot argue with my better half on that point. It’s pointless really. However, the actual point is I hurt people who are closest to me and love me the most in this world.
My Dad, wife and son love me so much that no words can describe the how natural and sincere it is. I love them equally hard if not more. Yet there are times when my anger gets the worst of me to surface. Knives may leave you with external injuries and scars. But they are nothing compared to the internal bleeding one undergoes when the tongue is lashed at them with such ferocity and pugnacity.
Why do we hurt the people who love us the most. Is it because we are afraid to face our demons and instead target the angels that protect and care for us. Like true angels though they are battered and bruised by us, they continue to ignore them as childish impulses and love us more than ever. To be honest it is actually infuriating to note that they can still love us with such nobility and gracefully, rather than shaming us….(We and Us….refer only to Me and no one else)
I am ashamed to be honest and would like to sincerely apologize to my Dad, Wife and Son….hope and pray that hereinafter I would not say anything that would hurt their senses. Let me take this pledge this day to keep this up…as my Son stated yesterday….tomorrow is your birthday….so be cool at least for 2 days…
My wife as usual made special and awesome dishes to my liking starting with Masala Dosa for breakfast, Paneer bhaji for lunch and Rice Kheer for Sweets…
Late evening, she suddenly asked me, if we can go for a ride and have an ice cream. Though I was not too keen, I did not want to disappoint her on this day. I got myself ready and we all three went for a long drive on ECR road. Somewhere after VGP, she saw this Creamstone Ice cream parlor but by then I had gone past it. Beyond this place was Amadora where we had Ice creams with our friends. I guess due to COVID many restaurants were closed. As we were approaching the Tollgate, I took a U turn and thought we could go to Indira Nagar to find some Ice cream parlors, closer to home. On the way back, saw Creamstone and took a U turn. Anirud ordered a Chocolate Milkshake as his wont and love for Chocolates. We tried a couple of flavors like settled on Lichi and French vanilla with Caramel toppings and nuts. Heart and stomach filled, we returned back home. I watched another movie all alone while the two eyes of my life, preferred night dreaming. Thus, ended the day….at home with family…
What more can you ask when you are submerged in a sea of attention, benevolence, kindness, warmth and sympathy. In this world, where you may have wealth and everything else but if you don’t have anyone to love and care for you when you so desperately need for it…which money cannot buy…what will you do with all the material possessions. We need money for survival and to give us a good life….but that is meaningless when you don’t have people who can share the joy with you…the way you feel…My parents, wife and son are the true symbols of altruism in this world. I owe my life to them and them only….love them forever….
Beautiful Life 