From This…
To This…
“is a radical change”
When you marry a Mumbai girl, (who was born and brought up there), you must appreciate the fact they are used to a certain type of cuisine and eating habits. When you are forced to move to Chennai because you married a Chennai guy, then it does not automatically mean you become an idly, dosa, sambar lover. The fact of the matter is that, even though she comes from an ultra-orthodox Brahmin family that does not even cook and eat onions at home, they do not impose their will on their children. They let them be when they go out with their friends. She therefore was used to eating all the chaats and savories of Mumbai that were available in plenty by the street corners at good quality and price. Even at home, she was used to eating food that was served hot on her plate by her mom. Not something that was made an hour before.
There are differences between the two households. My mother was a full-time working woman and on top of it, she had to cook, clean, and manage the entire house without the help of any maidservants (or even us) that are prevalent in today’s world. I don’t even know how she had so much energy or willpower to do this day in and day out for more than 40 years. Just unbelievable. Likewise, her mother (though not a working woman) had to manage the household in a very constricted environment as the family belonged to those of priests/purohits and had to keep a clean and sanctimonious environment. There were many constraints, including money and other religious restrictions, forcing her mother to manage everything on her own (with the help of her mother-in-law until she was alive). Therefore, in our household, my mother used to cook everything in the morning and keep it ready – morning breakfast, afternoon lunch, and any carry forward would be used for dinner. We used to sit together on the floor and eat as a family. In her case, every meal was cooked just in time and served on their plates.
Practices would not change just because my mother had retired from work by the time I was married. It was the same, perhaps, slightly different, or relaxed. She is not used to having breakfast in the morning. For us, it was a mandatory start to the day. For lunch, she would not take rice whether it was sambar or mixed rice, it was not a preferred choice. She always preferred roti and sabzis. It can be anything from “dals to normal baajis”. In our household, chappathis were a rarity, maybe, a weekly once affair and invariably with potatoes.
Even within a similar kind of Brahmin family setup, food habits can drastically change because of the place you come from and how you are tuned to the local cuisine, even if it is vegetarian. Such is the variety of cuisine in India from place to place. In our case, food was prepared in advance and not made just in time to be served directly on the plates. We would sometimes even have rice at night, which is unthinkable in her case. I can just go on and on…. such minute things, yet, if you are not adaptable, it becomes extremely difficult to adjust and accommodate yourself in a new environment that’s different from how you have been brought up.
She changed herself irrespective of whether it was to her liking or not. Due credit to her. My mother managed the kitchen and Vidya helped her with cutting vegetables and other tasks. However, the cooking was done by my mother. Vidya had not learned cooking formally from her mother as she managed her kitchen and took precious care of her lovely daughter. So, she started learning how my mother cooked, what ingredients were used, and the preferences of this household. For example, my mother used to put a little bit of sugar in sambar and rasam because of the influence of being in Bangalore for some time during the early days of her marriage.
While mostly, she liked what my mother made, there were some things she did not like, especially, what was packed for lunch when she had to go to the office. These kinds of differences existed for some time and were managed later through direct and indirect conversations and suggestions. Some were nuanced while some were not so nuanced in the approach and my mother, being my mother, ruffled her feathers in the wrong way. Eventually, for the sake of children, everything is forgiven and forgotten.
Our escape route thus was through our weekend getaways. We used to find new places where we could quench our thirst buds and cherish and relish the luscious delights of modern food. This happened during our evening visits outside and the issue was that once we got back home, we also had to eat what our mother had made for dinner. We cannot say, Mom, we have eaten outside. That’s the double whammy. Sometimes, life is like that, and you must take it in your stride.
What we wanted occasionally…
Life continued thus until we moved to Kuwait. And after that…Vidya had her kitchen, and it was time to experiment with me I must say…she is an absolute connoisseur of food and me a gourmet. That’s the next episode.
Beautiful Life 