I have fond memories of my childhood with my grandparents (maternal). On my paternal side, my grandpa died even when my Dad was young while my grandma died when I was a child so I don’t know much about them. However, my relationship with my grandparents was fabulous and remarkable. Those were simply glorious days and in those days my grandpa used to bicycle. He used to place me in the front bar and pedal all the way from Padi – Manjakuppam village to Padi main road and take me to hotel. We loved to eat out even during those days. My favorite food item was Masala dosa….it still remains….from my childhood days. He also used to take me to movies….in those days it used to be in Tentkottai…meaning it was thatched roof on the top and we used to sit on benches or on the floor to watch movies. There were no fans, just the cool breeze that has to come from outside. Air conditioners, did they even exist in those days. And when you watch movies, you need snacking…so you get awesome crispy samosas in those days rolled in a newspaper. Just much them and it literally melts in your mouth and into your heart. It was a real delicacy and you relished it like a manna from heaven as you don’t get that stuff made at home. The other mouthwatering stuff were onion pakodas, bajjis and nadar kadai kara sev. Honestly, whilst you still get the first two in some select shops, the last one has become extinct.
Fast-forward to 3 decades and you get glitzy and glamorous malls with multiplexes, food outlet that serves you from variety of popcorns to samosas, puffs, pastries, burgers, pizzas, fries, hot and cold drinks with different flavors…man it is endless. Variety and choice is endless for today’s generation. Whilst for us, it was limited and even the money was in short supply. So whatever we could get as little as what I had mentioned above, remained priceless to date. it’s not those dosas or samosas rather the intent, time and effort taken by my grandpa to spend all that he had with his grandchild (me), is all that I can recall and his loving visage.
He is my favorite and will remain so until my last breath. I used to fight with my cousins as to which grandchild was his pet. I was the last and the youngest one so I always thought that he adored and loved me more than anyone else. In short he was my hero and he could not make a wrong move or do anything that was incorrect or improbable. He was tall, dark, majestic and had a commanding presence. His attire in those days was a shirt and dhoti. My grandma used to feed me with vathakuzhambu and potato fry, which again remains one of my all-time preferred choice. My grandma was a short woman of light build and used to wear 9 yards traditional sari. She used to sing whenever she can, cooking or cleaning vessels. She was a strong and independent woman, just like my mother. She used to pet me like anything and I guess due to her constant feeding, I became a bloated bheemboy. Sometimes, excessive love can lead to such lasting repercussions. Mind you…..you can’t say no to that….it is all out of love.
Being with your gramps or grandma is like a cocoon or in a mother’s womb. You feel protected, relaxed and away from all the ills and cares of life that bother the grownups. They know that our time will come. So why force it down our throat in haste. Let it come when it has to, until then let them enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Give unto them as they give unto you, would be their simple motto. Alternatively, the grandparents also feel that it is only the child that needs their attention and care. So they duly reciprocate unequivocally. Their children do not have any time for them as they run behind daily chores at home and office to make ends meet. They are always in a fire fight mode and literally fire up when there is a demand from them. The parents react in a similar way with the kids as well, when they feel the demands are unreasonable. And so, the kids also feel disappointed and disjointed in that moment. So why antagonize your children when their children seek your attention, love and care. So in a way, it is a case of mutual adoration and admiration for each other due to life’s uncanny and ironical circumstance.
I cherished that relationship and still do to this date and will remain etched in my memory forever. I would say it was so pure and amazing. The only equivalent I could think of is a mother’s relationship with her child. Otherwise, this was one relationship that was simply unparalleled. I always wished that Anirud needs to grow up in an ambience where he grew up with his grandparents and that he can enjoy their unlimited, unconditional and boundless love and affection to the hilt. This is a unique bonding, where two generations are absolutely carefree from the whims of life. One generation, that has been through and seen everything in life and the other, yet to take fall into the quagmire and rigmarole of life. When the two meet, it’s like the older generation telling the youngest, hey kid now is the time to be carefree and live life to the brim. There will be times, when you would be immersed in the sea of life. But now, let’s take the plunge into the ocean and swim away blithe fully where our hearts destine us.
Unfortunately, in today’s world where we have moved into 1/2/3 bedroom houses depending upon one’s monetary status, we have all become nuclear families. Mostly, it is the Man, Woman and Child. Parents (both side) stay aloof. Get together happen once in a while. Therefore the children miss the essence of being with Gramps and feeling their categorical love, warmth and fondness. Grandparents also miss connection with their grandchildren and feel dispassionate about life as age related problems take their own toll. There is absolutely no diversion to focus their mind and energy upon in this situation. Even during my generation we lived separately due to the same fiscal status and small rented houses we lived in those days. However, we still found time to connect at every passing holiday or any other occasion that permitted movement. Holidays in those days meant, staying with your grandparents. Not holidays in fancy locations in India or outside of the country. That helped in creating that bond amongst generations that lasted truly generations. Today’s generation neither have the patience nor interest to stay with them as they deem it boring and dull. They need their toys, gadgets, gizmos and zany friends to hang around even at a young age. In addition, the grandparents also want their own lives without much annoyance of the kids on a day to day basis. Either way, everyone want their own time, space and place to play their own game as per their whims. Therefore, now, I honestly feel, it does not exist anymore as everyone is busy onto their own lives. Even if we live together, we are disengaged mentally. Sad state of affairs when technology has grown by leaps and bounds to connect everyone virtually and otherwise yet, there is a vacuum amongst people. It’s my own perception, maybe I am right or wrong…..but it’s a personal feeling. I honestly don’t know, if my son will be able to say like me… I really have tons to write about them…but let this be a brief intro to start with…when he is grown up…
Beautiful Life 