Valentines day 2021

This year there was a slight twist in the tale. Recently Anirud has been saying to both of us that I love only Mama dear most. Vidya used to ask every now and then, who do you love the most. How can the sonny boy be any different. It caught up with him. And it’s now his turn to ask both of us who they love the most. Is this because they want to know the truth or profess our love openly or a feeling of insecurity. I guess, it’s a combination of all three factors that make them ask this question every now and then. So a couple of days before, he again quipped that I only love his Mother and that I only shout at him. It could also be a result of few events that transpired a week ago that was unsavory and spiteful indeed. However, he is still a child and quite sensitive too like his Mom. He desires to be loved, cajoled, caressed and cared for lavishly. You might quip, who doesn’t like it that way, true, but it again boils down to the fact that of a single child and complete undivided attention from his Mom since his birth. If you have a working Mom, it’s a different story altogether. My Mom used to work and had to manage, home, work and every other sundry stuff in life. She loved us of course, there is no denying that, but it was more practical the way I saw it growing up and not too emotional. It made me realize how tough life was and how much of a sacrifice both my parents had to undergo to bring up their wards. Today, there are no such worries for Anirud. He is prodigiously taken care of, well, he might have a different opinion when he reads this later on. Everyone has a different take and perspective to life. I respect that. The point is when you have a Mom who is a homemaker, she can provide much more than you can even imagine, as is the case with Vidya. Her world revolves around her home, husband and child. They are the two most important priorities for her, in her life. It would have been the same with my Mom too, just that, she was also pulled into the vortex called work to which she had to give her attention to generate enough fuel to run the engine called home. So it eventually, tires a person physically and emotionally. To be honest, at some point it drains them completely.

What is the point behind all this belaboring? It’s not enough to express love only through feelings or words, it also has to be expressed through objects that are meant to convey your feelings in an exquisite, eye catching and memorable manner. I realized this after several years post marriage. Having grown up in a closely knit family, with tight budgets and busy life, I was not exposed much to these ways and means of expressing your love. To be honest, I am still a rigid and difficult person when you have a direct conversation, though mellow at heart. It’s a problem of growing up when you could not express yourself vocally with anyone about what you felt and thought. So it remained suppressed, until today and pours itself out in buckets through writing. It’s unobtrusive when it comes to writing. It’s just you without having anyone in front to ask or counter your feelings, thoughts, expressions to make you feel abject or questioned about your beliefs. The reason could be that, I am not much of an argumentative person to prove myself to anyone. However, I am stubborn and it’s virtually impossible to wean me away from my obdurate thoughts. I can be flexible too, sometimes, when the other person feels wounded and is pained by my words and actions. Mostly, it will be my family members who have to bear my brunt, whom I love with all my heart. Realistically, you hurt whom you love most. And I am not different. So what I have learnt over the years is that you need to profess your love in a nice way with some gifts and embellishments that expressively say, how much you love them. One such occasion is this Valentines day, which though is not a customary practice in India (imported from west) has become a part and parcel of our life as we integrate ourselves into the universal culture. Vasudeva Kutumbam as our Prime Minister would like to call it, embrace all the good things in life. It’s just another day to express yourself and make others feel good that they are being loved.

Going back to where we started, now that the Kiddo is growing up, it was time to express how much I loved him too and not just his Mom. So I set about buying two different gifts so that both of them are delighted. She was really surprised but immensely happy that I had ordered something for the Kiddo as well on this day. He was also quite glad that he got a gift of love from me on this day. She did not expect this from me (underestimated once again) but genuinely overjoyed by this gesture of mine. You cannot have one eye in a cheerful mood leaving the other one in a teary space. It does not look good, it’s actually awful. So I ordered a bunch of red roses in a vase for my beloved and a bunch of chocolates in another vase for the little one. More importantly, I could write my personal message in a card, expressing my love for both of them. A slingshot that fetched two mangoes at the same time. How’s that….

This love of mine for both of them would remain until my last breath and beyond too

Hmmmn….that’s all very, good….I understand the question raging in your mind…what have you got in return. Since yesterday she is behind me to go out shopping as she is not happy with the dresses I have for the upcoming wedding of Srikant. Earlier this week we went around several shops trying to find the right Nehru or Modi Kurta or Jacket…whichever name pleases or makes you angrier….leave that outside of this conversation….for the wedding reception. Either we could not find the right size, fitting or the color combinations were not pleasing to the eye. As I was glued to the TV since Saturday morning watching the enterprising 2nd Cricket Test between India and England, I was not too keen to step out of the house. Generally, I am quite lazy by the way and it takes an effort to move me….literally like a mountain. But once I hit the road, I keep moving, non stop. So it’s always extremes for me….on anything and everything and that really frustrates her to no end. Initially I said no and then I relented not wanting to spoil her mood, weekend, especially today after all the gifts (that were given one day earlier) that made her delighted.

So after the breakfast and shower later on, we set out to Express Mall at around 11 AM. The roads were practically empty (I guess either people were glued to the TV or went to the stadium to watch the match live….it was happening at MAC Stadium in Chennai and it was the first time since COVID outbreak Cricket returned to India and spectators were allowed, though only 50% of the capacity)…..so we reached the mall and went straight to Lifestyle. She checked out a couple of kurtas which I liked and then went to buy one Nehru/Modi Jacket to complete my purchase for the wedding. There one tick in the box to keep the lady happy. Sonny was not too happy that she picked me as the first choice for shopping and was nagging us a bit. Thereafter, we went straight to his floor to check out some white tees to be worn with the Coat being stitched for him. In between he checked out a NBA sleeveless tee and I asked her to buy it for him since he was hooked on to basketball these days. He also wanted a white sneaker, especially a Puma one with the BMW logo which did cost a bomb. I knew straight away that Vidya would not be keen to buy those expensive shoes, especially white base ones as he was growing fast. Now that you are growing up, you can use your Mom’s white sneakers which we bought last year for the UK trip and it might fit in more or less. He said, ok, I will give it a try and thus we closed the subject to the satisfaction of all parties concerned.

It was almost 1 and I was feeling hungry already. I did not want to eat in the mall and there was a plan to order food from my fav restaurant Little Italy since last week. So we decided to go to the restaurant straight away from the mall. She wanted to pick up Siddharth, Ajith and Brindha’s son and Anirud’s best buddy in Prime Terrace. So she called up Brindha to ask her, if she was ok to let him come with us for lunch. She got the nod from Ajith and we picked him up from the Gate and went to the restaurant at Besant Nagar. Fortunately, on the way she called up the restaurant to book a table for 4 and it was actually packed when we entered the restaurant. Otherwise, we would have had to wait for our turn/table and that would have been miserable for us and I could have thrown an irate temper given that I was already hungry.

Quickly seated in our table, we knew what to order and placed them real quick. We ended up eating almost everything that came our way as if we had not seen food for ages. Food as usual, was great, succulent and delectable. She ordered a Mango Mousse so that Siddharth can blow the candle and have the cake to celebrate his birthday in advance. Chocolates and Ice-creams were banned for him. Anirud wanted a Custard but we were already overflowing and his Mom told that she will order it some other time. Kiddo was not amused but life is meant to be that way sometimes.

Heart, Body, Mind and Soul filled to the brim, we returned home and I sat down to watch the cricket show dominated by India while Anirud and Siddharth took their online Sloka class. And in the evening everyone went their own separate ways….the boy wanted to show off his new NBA dress to his pals, Vidya went down for a chat and walk with her friends burning calories from the mouth and the waist….and I am yet to decide what I will do for the rest of my evening as I have gained quite a bit of weight around my waist….thanks to my obsession with curd….it’s all accumulating around my waist….that is how life goes on when you are in your Mid to Late 40’s in your life…..it just moves along at a slow pace….day by day….week after week….a month is over and soon enough you approach the year end…..and it’s time for another year in your lifetime….