Karthigai Deepam in Kuwait

Traditions and festivities can and should be maintained wherever and whichever part of the world you live. As a matter of fact, you actually want to invoke all the customs which you may not have practiced in India, primarily for want of time. However, when you live abroad, typically, you have, I would say in most cases a definitive work timeline as you invariably have to balance your work and personal life to the extent possible. This statement becomes all the more true when your spouse is dependent and not working independently. Moreover, you would not have your Parents or in laws to help you manage your household activities or be there for your children all the time, unlike in India, where we mostly live in a joint family system. They come down for a short trip and you would then like to maximize your time with them and they also would like to inculcate those customary traditions when they are around for that brief period of time. So all in all, you consciously or in a forced way made to balance work and life effectively, unlike in India where work invariably takes precedence. It’s changing slightly though now a days but am not sure how far the XYZ generation of today are inclined towards following rituals and customs treating them as unscientific dogmas of historical generations that needs to be cast away into the outer space. I mean it in a sarcastic way though….don’t let the liberals wag their tongue…all in a jest.

In my case, though we (meaning before marriage) used to celebrate festivals, it was not in a grand scale as it used to happen in Vidya’s house. I can attribute that to my Mom being a working woman who had to balance both work and home. I really wonder and am truly amazed at her superhuman strength (mentally and physically) to go through all these chores day in and day out without any house help including from her two sons. Dad used to be of some help in chopping vegetables (I don’t know if he used to do that prior to retirement) but she had to do everything else. I will elaborate when I write separately about my Mom and Dad. In Vidya’s cases, she comes from a traditional orthodox joint family so all customs and rituals where followed to the dot. However, case in point is that celebrations depend upon your social condition, upbringing and your traditional make up.

Post marriage, it all changed as Vidya wanted to continue with the traditions as it used to be in her home and my Mom was always open minded and welcoming especially when it comes to her daughter in law. That is how it all got rejigged and continues to date with much fanfare as in future the baton has to pass on to our son when he grows up. But then again, festivals typically center around women and they invariably take the lead in organizing everything and I have changed post marriage and bring in my own intuitive way of celebrating occasions by taking care of the decorative aspects and recording those events for remembrance. Therefore, it depends on the future daughter in law of the house and what are their preferences and aspirations when it comes to life.

22nd Nov 2010 – Celebrating the function with my parents in Kuwait

Pray to the lord for the well being of all with traditional sweets made out of jaggery…I don’t recall for what reason he is crying….under the watchful eyes of his grand parents

Mom and books are like bees and flowers….and she loves all kinds of snacks, sweets, juices and ice creams….that was enough for her survival without any food as such….she was truly childlike at heart….a caring and adoring Husband/Dad….took care of her until the end