Parental love

Simple folks who lived through difficult times with meagre means of everything. Education was limited as they had to go for a job to earn livelihood and support families. I wonder if they had all the means we have today how much they could have accomplished. How their lives would have turned around. Many of their personal Dreams realized which they had to sacrifice for their families. Yet they never bemoaned about anything. They were content. I may not say happy.

What I liked about Parents and the older generation is that they could find happiness in the smallest of things. My mom would be so happy to have a Teddy bear or some Dolls. She kept a lot of them in the showcase. Maybe, it is from her I got this love for Toys, though of a different kind. She loves cotton saris, reading books and watching television shows. After her knee pain, she simply did not want to venture out which involved any amount of walking. She was content being home and living her own life. Though, it curtailed my Dad who loves to go out, for him she was his whole world. And he would do anything and everything for her. He loved to give her quota of medicines morning, noon and night. Chop vegetables for her, hang out clothes to dry etc. They did not have any major aspirations as such except to see their children settled and lead a harmonious, healthy and prosperous life, better than themselves. And of course, to be loved by their children, daughters in law and grand children, every now and then. Is that too much to ask?

Their life’s focus was on their children. How can we give them what they want. All they wanted was to cherish their dreams through their children. It wasn’t selfish rather more to ensure that we had a financial security in our lives. Economic freedom leads to many other benefits. It helps to have a peace of mind when you are backed by certain amount of wealth. Especially given the rising costs of Medicare with Private institutions. There’s not much of social security in India. Hence one has to provide for oneself until the end. Alternatively the kids have to take care of their parents. I know how much my mother felt bad when she could not completely take care of her parents until the end. She did her best in terms of support.

Perhaps, all of this made her push me to go to Kuwait to earn some real money and settle down in life. She knew how hard I was working and trying to make ends meet. Vidya and I wanted to buy a house after marriage and always found that the money was short, in terms of what we had and what kind of a house we wanted to live in. Not that it was an extravagant dream….just a decent two bedroom house….we tried, tried and tried and there is always that gap between that lip and the cup….as they say…

In a way this dream got realized when I went to Kuwait with the higher disposable income and to raise a family….though I had to sacrifice that life in India with family and friends. You get something as you lose something….life is balanced that way…

There are both misgivings in the society as well in the older generation about being catered by the daughters as opposed to the sons. It’s because of the patriarchal society. Times are they changing!?… I am not too sure as still there is an yearning for sons vs daughters.

My Mom always wanted to have a daughter and it got fulfilled when her granddaughter was born. My brother and her eldest son fulfilled it. My niece is the only daughter in our family including my first cousins. The three of us have a son each. Why daughters? Maybe they are more affectionate, caring and loving…in an expensive manner. Not that we wouldn’t do it. It’s about how you show your emotions and feelings outwardly. It matters sometimes or maybe all the time. My only desire in life was to keep them happy, healthy and cherish their little wishes. I don’t know to what extent I had it accomplished. I don’t know if I had been a good son to their liking. I would have loved to know that from my mother as she was brutally honest…just like me…You could say I am after her. I know for a fact that my Dad would never give up on me. I have never seen anyone love me as much or more other than my mother and wife. That’s what you call as unconditional love.